big changes

Hello people. This is going to be a more serious blog post. With things changing in the household and things going forward I want to state some things that no one has asked of me but that’s ok.

So updates. These are pretty big changes in some sense if I say so.

Getting a job this year or next year or (looking for a job)

The search for a job is back on to make some money and to have a job in general but need to see how this turns out.

Now with this in mind. Things will be on hold or a long hiatus and I will list the things that fall under this list.

Game development and fan games – hiatus

Live streaming – hiatus

Playing games – hiatus

Making “reviews” and blogging – hiatus

Discord is on Hiatus

So those things will be on hold


Things changing in the family household

Our mother is getting her own life, so that in mind I might not be able to crash here anymore and chances are, I won’t be able to stay for long. 1 or 2 years tops (This is still unknown). It’s amazing I was able to stay with my family for so long and helping out with cooking, cleaning and such.

I learned a lot about cooking and cleaning.

Will be moving with my grandmother to take care of her in a year or two (maybe), and move on from there once I get on my feet after that but we are moving after we meet up with my BFF and two years or so.

Unfortunately I have a learning disability and being a sheltered kid growing up has made some things harder. But however by staying with my family, I have to learn some things since I was not taught any of this in school, even though that is / was the point of school to learn things that you will use later in life!

 I will list below what I need to learn. And there is more of course.

Learn how to do taxes or learn where to get taxes done

Will need to get a bank account for saving money / using money 

I will also need to learn how to drive a car

I will need to learn how to apply for new jobs in the future

Learn to pay bills

Get a cellphone to call or such

Learn how to adult

I’m not sure how others learn this stuff.


The happiest update

Sometime this year. I will be able to meet my BFF here in the USA since plans for Canada trip didn’t go as plan.. I’m still bummed out about not going to see the amazing sights of Canada with her but being able to meet my BFF here makes things better. Once things get sorted out where we can meet up. That will be awesome. 

Things needed for this to work to meet up

> A call to figure out details on what needs to be done and such.

> A hotel booked for x number of days

> Find out what hotel that we will be staying in and the area that it is in

> Buying a roundtrip ticket for Canada to USA and USA to Canada

>Find out where the hotels is

> Find out where the air ports are

>Find out where the other stuff is. Where to get food, shop for things

>Find out when me and my dear are free to meet up

But I am worried that I will make a bad impression. I worry I will mess up.

I love my dear. And I want to make this work between us but I don’t want to mess it up.

There is this worrying thought in the back of my mind that my dear won’t feel the same as me after meeting me and will want to stay best friends and if that comes to be the true I won’t throw away my friendship with her “if” it won’t workout

But damn, it will be a sad day for me and my heart if that comes to pass.. But I feel we might drift apart if it won’t workout and she may end up forgetting me when she starts having her life

Why am I overthinking this so much…? why is this eating at me so much? I’m scared of losing a best friend that I have so much in common with. I’m worried about someone special with a amazing bond with me fading away from my life and forgetting me in the future…

The meet up is going to be awesome but scary…Maybe I’m overthinking things…

She makes me happy and I love her dearly. I don’t want to lose her but I don’t want to keep her waiting too long and she finds someone else better… I’m a baka…

She is the light of my world that gives me reason to smile. She brings me joy that no one else can bring me. She is a driving force that kept going for so long after I wanted to stop.

These thoughts of losing her, and the light of my world, seeing it fade away.. It worries me so much but I must meet her and do something amazing.

I have never felt this way about anyone before and She is important to me. She is special to me. She is a one of a kind woman that can’t be replaced.

Maybe I’m a big baka for overthinking and pouring my feelings and thoughts into this post but it’s because I needed to say how I really feel and vent cause there is so much going on and didn’t want to bother anyone.

I’m just worried is all and I know overthinking doesn’t help in anyway


My Canada situation

I have brought up how I wanted to move to Canada to live down there but was turned down because my family is worried something would happen to me if I went there or they feel it’s a bad idea.

I wanted to live there to be closer to my angel but they don’t don’t want me to give up my U.S citizenship to live in Canada for one or two reasons and told me that I should see if she is willing to come to the U.S to live with me when we get more serious (in the future when I have my own apartment or condo to live in)

But my family feels that she may not want to leave her family and Canada citizenship behind. If that comes to be. I will take a chance and find a way to move to Canada…Or something

I have been a emotional mess.. I’m weird

This will be the last blog update for a long while

Changes and moving forward

As the year 2018 comes to a close, as 4 days remain. Had a lot of ups and down, and a lot has happened or changed for better or for worst.. But during that time, I was able to reflect on my own life and know what must be done or must be changed on my end.

Take this with a grain of salt. There is a chance that you will:

  1. Not agree with my changes

  2. Not like what is said here

  3. Or just don’t care or won’t care about this.

And I know I can’t please everyone but oh well, here we gooooo!

There is a lot to cover here, so sit back or not and get ready for the list of things

To make things easy on some, just hit control + F and you can look for the following below

  • Updates on my life
  • Twitter stuff
  • Dropping Grudges
  • Twitch.tv stuff or stream related
  • Updates on the fan game
  • Youtube stuff
  • My Goals for 2019

Updates on my life

  1. I have been avoiding drama that I have no need for, be it ignoring it, muting friends or followers who take part in it. I realize that me, worrying about drama that doesn’t affect me is a waste of time. I will still defend friends who are being attacked

  2. I think it’s time that we move on from Skype to Discord for a number of reasons. One of them being security reasons, and skype is slowly being snuffed out little by little by Discord. Discord does have it’s problems but it’s time to move on, eh?

  3. I have been more social with people Or rather, being more social with my friends since they are the only ones who like to answer others ignore me but it’s whatevers. I got used to it

  4. Been pretty happy with life, despite what has happened in this year. Things could have been better but what can you do? :Vimage

  5. I have some goals and plans for this new year coming up and hope they going to turn out ok but time will tell what the future holds for me. And I shall see if my friends will be along for the ride or this may be your final stop. Let’s see, eh?

  6. I have been using WordPress for a good while… It’s not bad, though limited in some areas, like coding html. I may switch over to Blogger, because Tumblr is useless to me. Most of my post don’t show up in Tumblr search and it’s not worth it to me.

Twitter stuff

  1. I have been using Twitter way more than Discord.. that’s not a bad thing, This is pretty good for my standards, And my followers consist of a number of users (“Why does this matter?” I am sure you will say. sit a spell)

  2. So, following has to be cleaned out as it has needed that for a a long while.. Pretty much accounts on the chopping block are, Art bots that I don’t look at, inactive accounts.

  3. I may set my twitter account to private in the future.
  4. Going into the year 2019, I will not unfollow users talking about drama. I will ignore it. I will not tell someone that they can’t or can say whatever, that’s not my thing. If it does not get out of hand..

  5. Been adding friends to my Twitter friends’s list, if you are on my Twitter friends list then you are a friend of mine
  6. Being more social and such
  7. That’s it for the Twitters. :V

Dropping Grudges

Going into 2019, I will be letting go of my grudges I held on people. I, however, have no plans on being friends with those who done me wrong off the bat or maybe never but I want to go into this year not hating anyone.

  1. I will be dropping my biggest grudge against FlyingfoxTSC or whatever name she goes by now (FlyingFox). Why am I dropping this grudge? I realize holding a grudge only holds you back in many ways or can turn you into a petty or a bitter person. I have forgiven her but not forgotten. If she talks to me, ok. And if she doesn’t talk to me, ok.  With this said. I no longer “Dislike” her.

  2. I will be dropping my grudges against other Sonic Speedrunners and will unblock them on Twitter (no one cares but that is good.)

Everyone gets a clean slate. Cause why not. :Vimage

Twitch.tv stuff or stream related

I wanna start doing podcasts and streaming other games or even stream making things

  1. SRL racing is a part of my life that I am now closing. Once I hit 200 races completed, I will take a break but I will most likely be done with racing games. I’m burned out with it. You could say that SRL racing is in the same boat with how I feel about speedrunning and CyberScore.

  2. Twitch.tv chat moderators for my stream. If you lost mod status, you could come back and get it again. I am sure some will not like this but starting in 2019 moving forward. Losing moderator status will be permanent but can be regain, if you wish. Some users are safe from this list. But no one watches me, so it’s fine.

  3. There will be more co-op streams with my friends. I already know people who can’t join for reasons, so I not even gonna ask them. These will be streams where we shoot the shit and talk about things, and have a good time and fun

  4. If you are still here for racing SRL stuff and speedruns, this be the wrong place. That’s coming to a end, I would say.image

Updates on the fan game

  1. So, it has been months. Progress has been slow for a number. Drama, friends fighting, Life issues, and so much cooking. Cause of that, I been learning more code to use in my fan games. But I can say without a doubt the prototype will be pushed back to a “TBA” for now. Can’t call it a beta, yet.

  2. I will be sending Masta, Hyper, and SBCZ a document where they can fill out the stats for their characters and much more, within reason. :3 Once they get the document, they can open / edit it in Googledocs and edit in the info. Once they get their document, They have 30 days to fill out the document, and sent it back on discord.

  3. When the prototype is ready for debugging, a new channel will open up in my server, Private testing only. When the first demo is live for testing, it will be uploaded to firefox’s file hosting site

Youtube stuff

  1. Youtube let plays are coming back. Had no time to record games but I will fix that, soon. I have some in mind. :V That’s all

image

My Goals for 2019

  1. I would like to be drama free. I do not care about drama. It’s a waste of one’s time, and I have better things, man because drama ain’t one of them

  2. I would like to get a fan game ready for testing or even released a app for others to use. I have 2 apps ready to be released

  3. I want to talk to my friends again in voice calls, and play games with friends that I enjoy.

  4. I have been removing myself from toxic environments. This could be discord groups, servers, and friends on Twitter or Facebook.

  5. My Discord will become semi-open to new users.

  6. Move my friends over from Skype to Discord

  7. I will keep moving forward, with you or without you. If life changes the plans, I will adjust to the change, if need be.

  8. Draw more things for fun, and to learn new ways of drawing

  9. Live through it all

That’s it really. :V Thanks for reading, and hope to see you with me in the new year that is 2019.

OnyChaos~