My thoughts

I guess I have one more than about Witching Hour I want to add, and it’s more how I personally feel is all. How I been feeling what I been thinking and what I want to do. And this will be a fairly long post.

Editor’s note: This is a rant or a vent or just both. Something to get off my chest. And I have to make this clear that no one is at fault here. Sure, I don’t like how some members act, and things could be better. But no one is at fault. I’m letting off steam.

How have I been feeling.

Guild has been interesting when I first joined or got asked to join and it was a fun time and was before Phantasy Star Online 2: New Genesis. And there were rough spots pre-NGS and post NGS but I didn’t mind it. Or rather, I ignored it. I met some chill people, you could goof off with, and being a member was fun. Then I got asked to become an officer for the guild way back then, even though, I was happy being a regular member and did not care to be an officer.

And being an officer, it was not so bad and ignoring other things. As an officer, I just help urgent quests and have to watch chat when users start to become stupid. As you can see, I don’t do much. Being an officer feels like babysitting but you get paid with disrespect, being ignored, or having to deal with stupid things.

And it always feels like you are walking on eggshells with some users. But as an officer, and forgive me. This shit blows! Witching hour feels too pc with some members. Someone getting offended, I can’t really speak my mind because other guilds or people may read this? It is why didn’t want to become an officer.

Maybe it is the lack of content, the guild feeling samey to me, just being here, some users won’t listen to advice or will be offended. Having to babysit some users or speak for users who want to do something but never speak up or even ignore some people, and don’t even have manners to respond sometimes.

And this is something that has been building up over the pasting months, little by little. And I guess we are at the peak?

And sure that changes every now and then for the better, but for me, it’s like too little too late. I still feel jaded toward the guild since for me. It is samey and not fun at all. It’s a jaded gameplay loop

Get up for dailies > Do urgent quests > waste time with guild > finished up dailies > fight giga monsters

Or

Do dailies > do Urgent quests > Have fun? > finish dailies.

And this is not the first time I felt like this, and won’t be the last. I have thought about leaving the guild but I was stopped. I will wait until the winter update and a little after the update to see how I feel, and if I still feel the same way or worse, I will ask to step down as an officer.

And someone has told me that I would be better off in a witching hour than on my own, and I still debate that, as I got pretty far on my own before the witching hour guild. And I guess the only difference is I won’t have to see guild member’s chat and I would have to find help on my own or youtube.

This is Elpha’s guild, and they can run it however they see fit. But I do not wish to be at the captain’s table with how I feel towards the guild. I guess I saw and heard everything I needed to see.

If you are too lazy to read. A sum up is: I’m not enjoying my time as an officer, and my experience here is mixed. I met some good people, sure. But I met a lot of bad people. Everyone else is static noise, a blur in the background.

Winter Update and post-winter update

So, I will wait until the pso2 winter update drops (12/15). And from there, I can see how I feel about the winter update and the matter as a whole. To see if being an officer is babysitting users who don’t listen, who don’t want to get good gear, or if things change for the better. I want to like the members but some of them are nice but others are bad. But at least some of them do join while others wait for giga and ignore urgent quests.

I will wait, as I said. Not going to leave the guild, unless they get into drama or worse. This update will give me something to do, and at that point, I can figure out if I want to stay as an officer or not.

And given the fact I have been doing content on my own or starting to do things without the guild, for me. Which I begin to question, do I belong in a guild?

I don’t hate the witching hour. Given its past I don’t hate it, it is a fine guild, but there is a bit of resentment I hold with guilds. And this could be just lack of content, some annoying witching hour members, a samey gameplay loop.

And this question, something that comes back time and time again. With no answer.

Why am I in a guild in which I hold some resentment towards guilds?

The only answer I see is to stick it out as I’m here to stay cause a friend told me to see this guild through, and if the guild is still the same or somehow in a worse shape, you can say you tried to help make it a better place in someway or you stood by this guild long enough to see that it is not the place for you. Somewhere along those lines.

The winter update and post-winter update will be the baseline to see if things change for the better. To see if this feeling will go away, and maybe it is nothing and lack of content. But as someone who has been burned by guilds in the past, it’s hard to put faith into a guild when you know you will be let down by the guild and their members (I.e AQW guilds, Elsword guilds, PSO2 guilds)

And my friend said if I joined another guild, it would be the same thing, a repeat of the same feeling that I have now I would experience this in another guild, and maybe it is why I feel I am better off alone. To close off the world of guilds, to worry about me and only me. To worry when I mess up, the only one I let down is myself.

Not happy being an officer, it feels like babysitting but that’s every guild. You watch for trouble and have to help stubborn people. But I will wait until 12/15 to see how things change. if my mood changes, if just being in a guild changes my outlook.

I don’t hate the witching hour but I also can’t say I love it either. Just a weird place to be when back in April, I was happy to be here, and now. I’m not too sure anymore if I belong here or in any guild. I shall see you until then.

Characters of interest

I met some awesome people that helped me get gear ready for x class: Aluria, DaeStar. Elpha was busy with their friends in VR chat., but they mean well.

Zargon, while I don’t know him personally and still don’t, he’s on my watch list. As he may be a character of interest but that might change since I only “interact” with him through PSO2 and am not close enough to treat him like a buddy.

Arisu, someone I thought who was Arisuuu turned out to be a cool person, I enjoy watching their streams and I like talking to them

Foramit, The Aluria superfan.

Shiro, an interesting fellow used to talk to them and after what happened in NGS we just talk often.

Todd, I had a negative impression of him and he seems to be getting better and doing better. Sometimes.

2B – shrug

DD – they are alright people.

What is next for me

If the winter update turns out great, that would be awesome, and probably me feeling like this is tied to the lack of content. I won’t deny that this feeling is also tied to being an officer of a guild.

If I still feel the same during the winter update and post-winter update, I will ask to remove my officer status, and from there, I will do things on my own without having this big important role, which is basically a bat-signal when an urgent quest comes up.

Just needed to vent is all. I know no one cares about the silly things, and it’s why I can blog, as I feel this is my safe haven here, and it makes me happy. A place where I don’t have to be forced to censor my thoughts. That often for the sake of others. It is whatever. I could make another post about issues but this one is focused on my personal experience. And no one reads these posts unless it contains a thing or person they know.

That’s all I wanted to say.