Just ignore this. Just me venting again.. lol. :P
Hey. A bit of a confusing update this may be but figured I talk about some new things that happened and what has been going on in broken world and going on in my life.
So, coming this October, Me and My Grandmother are moving back to Ohio.. While There are some things I like about Texas… That my friend Shiny is here in Texas, the people are friendly when they don’t have roadrage.. Going back where family is closer is nice. But I am not fond of Texas..
#moving: This tag would be fitting as the post talks about the author’s move to Ohio and the potential for a job.
#mentalhealth: This tag would be fitting as the post talks about the author’s struggles with isolation, loneliness, depression and semi-dark thoughts.
#gamedev: This tag would be fitting as the post talks about the author’s progress on their fan game, including custom skills and boss fights.
And moving back to Ohio, I “might be able” to get a job. Though the job may be limited due to my disability, since I need a job that supports my case but the chance for a job is there, even if small. So, there is some kind of hope, even if it is slim chance.
Working on my fan game
I have been making a lot of progress with the second Phase of the boss fight
Here what it looks like at the moment. it’s in the works but far from done but it’s a start, I suppose. Made in ClickTeam Fusion 2.5+
I made some other progress related to custom skills that use energy instead of rings. This is Something I may or may not keep. I added it to see if I could make it. And I can.
The last one is a homing skill that follows / goes to the target. and does a multihit when it is in action. But I don’t have the gif at the moment, and it is outdated
I also been fixing bugs found by AutobotODST :3 And adding new stuff to the game.
Heavy Warning for below
If you are here for happy vibes, don’t go past this warning.
Breakdowns and mini aftermath
A few days or a week ago, I had a meltdown in a friend’s stream. It was minor but after that i knew what caused it.. Isolation, loneliness, unsure of the future, my future, other things in my life, depression, the world in complete chaos,
the covid-19 virus / coronavirus still in the wild, and may be spreading more from those protesting / the jerks looting, and for the first time on the internet.. I truly feel alone in the world, and that’s when I had my meltdown
I know my problems are not of note as the world has truly entered a new age, and we have much bigger things to worry about. While I feel a bit better, the thoughts still haunt me once in a while.
And the semi dark thoughts, I don’t have to spell it out for you, popped up once, and I have not acted on these thoughts that could harm me.. but I did start to give them some thought. Figured I should tell you but not sure why I am telling you this, huh?
I guess for me and maybe others. Life is uncertain to me, at the moment. I really don’t know anymore. Sigh.
Being Tagged / getting a nomination
I made a post not too long ago because I was tagged by A Geeky Gal. My post is here. It was a fun thing to write and I would like more. :P but maybe in the future
I think I am just tired. This year has put communication to a complete halt. It’s funny, we all take things for granted till we, you know, miss them. I missed talking to my friends, and people but seems life has another plan for them.. So I am thinking should just use twitter a bit less, maybe but won’t log off.
Keep saying super busy but life has been everything but calm. I just miss spending time with people I’m close with. You know.. Cause talking via text is nice but you start to miss calling them.
Post 2019, Twitter feels so empty and lifeless. It’s much more depressing which is kinda sad for me. I think calls with anyone is prob a zero. I will see what happens in a few months but I feel like I am being too hopeful for better things in a few months, huh.
And I guess I knowing, the safety net that is normally there is now gone
Does this make me petty? 100% I will not deny this, lol. In January , I was fine, level headed cause I knew things would be a little bad but never did think things would get this bad.. And overtime, that hopeful spirit started to diminish over the months till now.
I want to be hopeful for something nice to happen this year but I don’t know, man. I don’t know. Life has dealt a awful hand. I just blog about my problems when no one is around.
I feel Twitter will be a wasteland in a few months. Again, no one to rant too. *shrug* Sorry for being weak :v
I’m probably going to deactivate some social media accounts I don’t use or delete them. Probably will post this to twitter and dip for a bit. Twitter has been anything but good to my health and mental state but maybe at the end of this tunnel in a few more months, there will be light?
To quote, Steven from the movie. “Here we are in the future. Here we are in the future, and it’s wrong!”
2020 sucks, and to say this year is disappointing would be the understatement of the year.. lol
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