It’s a crazy year… Who would seen this coming? We all forced to stay home from the coronavirus like a game I know. Fallout Shelter. But have not played that for a year or two but enough of that.
During this time or downtime. I have free time to reflect on my life, my choices in friends, and outgrowing friends and I know who I want as a friend and getting rid of the toxic friends from my life. There is a lot here to unpack so I won’t make it too long but no promises here.
I must warn you, some of you may or may not like this update, and a big change in my life but it’s for the better.
As I said, I had free time to reflect on my life and it was hard but It was done. Changes, new goals, Having a positive life without drama and petty grudges. There are things I want to do and want to have positive supportive friends in my life.
Competition – I have cut that out from my life and I made a post on that and my life has been better. I watch people and associates get worked up over competition. It’s not me so, they can do as they please. And I feel most know that trying to get me into competition will push me farther away from it
Streaming – I have got back into streaming games on Twitch.tv again and it has been fun. I been busy as of late with a lot of thing but plan to get back to streaming Dust, and other things. CatBoo
Healthy Lifestyle – I been getting fit by working, getting healthy by eating well, and having supportive friends by my side. Letting go of petty grudges, forgiving people and communities. Being happy and cutting ties with friends who don’t make me happy or staying away from bad people, and no longer keeping around bad friends in my life, even those “close” to me.
Watching Anime – I been watching Anime. Started watching Beastars cause of my friends, AutobotODST and Shinyfelyne for getting me into the anime. Damn them. o3o I have been trying to watch Ouran High School Host Club, and Jojo: golden wind. I will finish these anime :3
Being Open – As you know, I started to be more open about my feelings and saying what’s on my mind but by doing this, This made me see what friends I want in my life now.
Making content – I have been making a fan game for 3 years or so. During that time. I made a timer which can count up or down, I also made a tool to draw stuff with sprites.
Being active on media – I have been talking to my friends more on Twitter. I have become more active on some social media sites, like Twitter, Youtube, Newgrounds, Discord and it has been fun. I used to be inactive but I changed.
Self reflecting – I have come a long way, I used to be a toxic person, And a white knight. I would let my emotions get the best of me, got me into fights online. I was petty, closed minded, and a shitty person that was pessimistic about things but the people around me and still around me at that time affected me in a negative way. The bad friends anyway
I still have a long way to go but I have got better. I’m more optimistic about life, I’m much more happy then before. Hell, I love myself, working on that but I’m at a better place than before. I’m keeping out the negative friends, negative vibes from my life and I’m have been better for it. Been staying out of drama and friends drama.
Blogging more – Coming from Tumblr.. Again, I been blogging more. My WordPress blog and posts have been getting index into online searches which has become easy for people to find while my Tumblr blog is lagging behind… Blogging has been fun and will keep blogging about things. :3
So, you seen me mention getting rid of toxic friends or friends who are not supportive. And that’s because I made friends that were toxic or friends who were not supportive but rather want me to support them. It’s a one way street but it’s time I switch lanes.
BUT, at the same time, I have made amazing friends along the way and some of my friends are supportive, helpful and not assholes. They have been their for me and I been their for them. Our friendship is healthy but only with those who I enjoy being with.
I won’t mention everyone here or I will be here all day.
Anyone I mention here, I have no ill will against anyone and just talking about the things that put our friendship on the rocks or rather that made me stop enjoying the friendship and they can take and learn from what is causing me to feel this way towards them or most of the time, overreact, misunderstand the situation at hand, and make things worst for me and them which will end the friendship faster
My GF Bet – She is awesome, sweet and a amazing best friend. Has been there before anyone was and I’m lucky to have someone amazing
Pippils – Nothing wrong here. Just not best friends or close friends. We are just associates who don’t talk as much, if at all. It’s funny. before I left Pipplis Discord group (I don’t know if it is still up), we used to talk more. Hell, we had calls but that all came to a end. Only time I talk to her is when I see a questionable tweet or series of tweets that might start something and try to defuse the situation to keep it in control.
But yeah. Nothing wrong here but nothing can be wrong if there was nothing to begin with. Maybe in the future, we can call with friends or talk often and build this friendship back up.
AutobotODST – A best friend and a supportive friend of mine. Level headed, smart, and a cool dude. I don’t know where I would be without this lad. I will be there for him and he’s there for me. I guess a true bro, as they would say
ShinyFelyne – Shiny is also a good friend. Though he scares me for two reasons. 1. His emotions seem to be a double edge sword. They help him when he needs them but they also get the best of him. And 2 is that sometimes, he just up and goes. It’s hard to be a friend to someone when they up and leave without saying anything. He’s a good friend of mine but I would like to help more but kinda locked out in a sense when things get tough. Would love to help the lad or talk to him when he is down but I don’t have that status it seems. Maybe one day, the lad will open up. but for now that is not the case. I hope if he up and leaves, that he tells his friends. I will try to help if he doesn’t want it ouo
BlackDiamond – My Elsword friend that plays once a month. BlackDiamond is cool, if a bit serious at times. Talking to her is fun and we had our ups and downs but she is fun. Trying to teach her new stuff. The only thing that worries me is her holding grudges, as it can make you a bitter person and she is her own person but I just hope these feelings of anger don’t take her over like they did me in the past. I don’t want her to go down this path I went down as I feel it’s not easy to come back from the darkness..
HyperSonic7701 – A good friend / associate. A gaming buddy, he is not. Can’t really play other games with him other then games he or drax has, as he not into things I like. Which is a shame, I can’t really have call unless it there is a game behind it or the call is not gonna happen. My one issue with the lad is his competitive side that tends to be a little toxic.
Zombiesmasher15 – Started to talk to him again. We were close friends that called a lot. I can’t say if he saw me as a close friend or not but he is a cool guy that I can play games with. Not elsword, sadly He doesn’t like it. :V
LuminaryEm or Lumy – associates but cool associates. We don’t really talk much but the lass is cool. It was weird when they first followed me. Figured it was some rando but seen they were friends of my friends. The lass is cool
SBCz – the best friend I found by posting a SRB2 picture of a knuckles time attack after I fell asleep and we had our ups and downs but glad you stuck with me through the good and bad times. When the going got tough, we kept going and grateful for you
I started to use the follow only feature for my streams and as a result. I don’t have much need of my twitch mods. With auto mod being a things, inactive mods will be getting removed.
If you get removed, you were active but at the same time, the automod and follow only makes having a lot of mods pointless. :v I may keep it on in the future.
That’s all I wanted to say. this is a lot but most of it was cut down to save time.