Why I stopped being competitive

Warning: This vent is all over the place but no hard feelings, just needed a place to unwind and release my problems or talk about them

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It’s time again for a fun post and an interesting topic from me, OnyChaos. Why I am no longer competitive or why I stopped being competitive. Well, let’s see in the old days of CyberScore or when I joined the competitive side of Cyberscore or gaming, for me was fun.  It was about being better while having fun, you know?

Here the thing. Me and my friends. Auto and Shiny. We are competitive in smash but we have fun at the end of the day because having fun is better then trying to out do someone in a vidya game. And I am fine with people being competitive but most of the time the environment is toxic and by proxy it keeps me from playing with other friends.

But being competitive seems to be such a serious thing that some forget what fun is or rather the only fun is beating the other players or fun being wasting hours, days on a game to beat the score by another user that has long since stopped playing.

And people wanted me to be competitive or do Ils. I been studying my competitive friends, and the results from my studies just make me not want to be competitive like them. Lol. Like I enjoy being happy. you do you but keep me out of it, if it is negative.

But that’s me. I can be competitive as well but it’s friendly competition. I’m not trying to put anyone down or be better then anyone else when I’m being competitive, I just care about having fun with friends and not trying to make everything a serious competition.[[MORE]]

Playing with Hyper, Drax, Zombie or chris is fun but when they get competitive, the environment becomes toxic or anything but fun and kills my good vibes and I’m not going to try to change them as one. They are / may be stuck in their ways. Two. They won’t change. I can say the option that may be best is to remove myself when the atmosphere is too toxic.

And to some extent, it’s why I don’t play a lot of competitive games with the lads. But this is fine. They will find someone else to play with if I don’t play.

I am very laid back. Good vibes all around, and easy going, and much more mellow, but when my good vibes are ruined, what’s the point of being here in an atmosphere that is made from bad vibes? I guess this is me taking off my rose tinted glasses and seeing things in a different light, huh.

I hate feeling negative emotions or having them as if I’m playing a game with friends and feeling this way, I’m not going to have to have fun playing. I enjoy playing with them but I hate how competitive and negative the atmosphere becomes. But maybe these guys are so used to toxic atmosphere or don’t seem to notice it or care about it.

I have said this before but another reason for not being so competitive is, we were playing pangya and became competitive. I was a asshole to some stranger and my friends but after that night, I made a vow to change and I have kept that vow since that day. Silly to you but serious to me.

But maybe that’s me. When you’re the only one who is not competitive and have competitive friends, things can shift fast. On some days when they are not trying to 1 up each other or out do each other, they are fun to play with, and goofing around and not so serious, they are having fun but that is on some days… Even then..

But are near the end of my vent. This is why I’m not into competition as much. That’s why my CyberScore proofs have stopped. This is why I don’t get too competitive as I have seen friends and strangers treat others like shit when they win or lose, act like an asshole.

As Dark Souls has showed me. There is being an asshole and there is being a dick.

It’s something I wanted to get off my chest. Since most of my friends are somewhat cold and distant to talk to. I will share how I feel. Sometimes, It’s hard to open up to them, even though, we are friends but seems it’s clear to stop trying to be open to them, I suppose.

I don’t have anyone I want to share these thoughts with, cause really, they don’t need to hear my thoughts but at least I have tumblr to rant or vent about my problems..Tumblr, a place where I can vent about my problems when no one is around to help or talk to. They tell me dms are open or I can talk to them about these things but.. I feel they really don’t hear such petty things from me.

But please don’t take this the wrong way. I really enjoy playing games with Drax and Hyper. When it’s just us 3 playing for fun and goofing off, dying or getting an game over. We are playing to have fun and whatever. i just hate when Hyper or Drax get too serious when we are just having fun. But I can’t change what is already set in stone, is them being competitive. It kills my vibes when it happens.

I have a bond with Hyper, Drax, Zombie, SBCz, masta, and my other friends. I can’t really tell you if they feel the same toward me or see me as another associate. However they see, I will be their friend till the end or till they stab me in the back.

I will never be competitive like Hyper, Drax, Zombie, Masta, Chris, Dave, sbcz, tigre, auto, Shiny, deadkev, Saime, and my other friends. I just don’t see competition in the same way as they do.. They see something I no longer see now.

Competition… It’s a great thing but it can bring out the worst in someone. Guess going forward, things related to ILs are going to be done for me. I would like to complete one game for CyberScore or at the very least, submit 20 ILs of any game to cyberscore, feels right to do so.

With this. I end the vent. Have a good day or night and see you next time. On to better things and a cool year coming around the corner.

Won’t be shocked if I get a message from a friend indirectly replying to this in some way, shape or form.

OnyChaos~