big changes

Hello people. This is going to be a more serious blog post. With things changing in the household and things going forward I want to state some things that no one has asked of me but that’s ok.

So updates. These are pretty big changes in some sense if I say so.

Getting a job this year or next year or (looking for a job)

The search for a job is back on to make some money and to have a job in general but need to see how this turns out.

Now with this in mind. Things will be on hold or a long hiatus and I will list the things that fall under this list.

Game development and fan games – hiatus

Live streaming – hiatus

Playing games – hiatus

Making “reviews” and blogging – hiatus

Discord is on Hiatus

So those things will be on hold


Things changing in the family household

Our mother is getting her own life, so that in mind I might not be able to crash here anymore and chances are, I won’t be able to stay for long. 1 or 2 years tops (This is still unknown). It’s amazing I was able to stay with my family for so long and helping out with cooking, cleaning and such.

I learned a lot about cooking and cleaning.

Will be moving with my grandmother to take care of her in a year or two (maybe), and move on from there once I get on my feet after that but we are moving after we meet up with my BFF and two years or so.

Unfortunately I have a learning disability and being a sheltered kid growing up has made some things harder. But however by staying with my family, I have to learn some things since I was not taught any of this in school, even though that is / was the point of school to learn things that you will use later in life!

 I will list below what I need to learn. And there is more of course.

Learn how to do taxes or learn where to get taxes done

Will need to get a bank account for saving money / using money 

I will also need to learn how to drive a car

I will need to learn how to apply for new jobs in the future

Learn to pay bills

Get a cellphone to call or such

Learn how to adult

I’m not sure how others learn this stuff.


The happiest update

Sometime this year. I will be able to meet my BFF here in the USA since plans for Canada trip didn’t go as plan.. I’m still bummed out about not going to see the amazing sights of Canada with her but being able to meet my BFF here makes things better. Once things get sorted out where we can meet up. That will be awesome. 

Things needed for this to work to meet up

> A call to figure out details on what needs to be done and such.

> A hotel booked for x number of days

> Find out what hotel that we will be staying in and the area that it is in

> Buying a roundtrip ticket for Canada to USA and USA to Canada

>Find out where the hotels is

> Find out where the air ports are

>Find out where the other stuff is. Where to get food, shop for things

>Find out when me and my dear are free to meet up

But I am worried that I will make a bad impression. I worry I will mess up.

I love my dear. And I want to make this work between us but I don’t want to mess it up.

There is this worrying thought in the back of my mind that my dear won’t feel the same as me after meeting me and will want to stay best friends and if that comes to be the true I won’t throw away my friendship with her “if” it won’t workout

But damn, it will be a sad day for me and my heart if that comes to pass.. But I feel we might drift apart if it won’t workout and she may end up forgetting me when she starts having her life

Why am I overthinking this so much…? why is this eating at me so much? I’m scared of losing a best friend that I have so much in common with. I’m worried about someone special with a amazing bond with me fading away from my life and forgetting me in the future…

The meet up is going to be awesome but scary…Maybe I’m overthinking things…

She makes me happy and I love her dearly. I don’t want to lose her but I don’t want to keep her waiting too long and she finds someone else better… I’m a baka…

She is the light of my world that gives me reason to smile. She brings me joy that no one else can bring me. She is a driving force that kept going for so long after I wanted to stop.

These thoughts of losing her, and the light of my world, seeing it fade away.. It worries me so much but I must meet her and do something amazing.

I have never felt this way about anyone before and She is important to me. She is special to me. She is a one of a kind woman that can’t be replaced.

Maybe I’m a big baka for overthinking and pouring my feelings and thoughts into this post but it’s because I needed to say how I really feel and vent cause there is so much going on and didn’t want to bother anyone.

I’m just worried is all and I know overthinking doesn’t help in anyway


My Canada situation

I have brought up how I wanted to move to Canada to live down there but was turned down because my family is worried something would happen to me if I went there or they feel it’s a bad idea.

I wanted to live there to be closer to my angel but they don’t don’t want me to give up my U.S citizenship to live in Canada for one or two reasons and told me that I should see if she is willing to come to the U.S to live with me when we get more serious (in the future when I have my own apartment or condo to live in)

But my family feels that she may not want to leave her family and Canada citizenship behind. If that comes to be. I will take a chance and find a way to move to Canada…Or something

I have been a emotional mess.. I’m weird

This will be the last blog update for a long while

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