End to a ranting saga

So, it has been a long time coming. A end to this rant saga of the speedrunning community. It has been a year, and I want to get this off of my chest. I know what I want to say, and I have a lot to say. This will be my viewpoint, and how I feel towards the community now, as well as other things. This is my experience with the sonic speedrunning community


I should warn you that this is a serious post. as I plan to end this saga, with a bang.

Warning: While reading this post, do take this post with a grain of salt, I will throw shade and I do have my reasons for that. With that being said, let’s start the post.

image

Editor note: This is me ranting about things, since I really don’t like to use friends as a outlet. If this rant offends you, I’m sorry but It’s a rant. They are never nice, and do take this with a grain of salt. – May 10th


Speedrunning

I guess this is it, huh. To think, I saw my self ranting about this community but things change. As you all know, I made a few rants and talked about how I feel towards speedrunning. Most, if not all was mostly negative, but for good reason.

Speedrunning, I feel that speedrunning used to be a special thing. Back then, before it became a normal daily event. it was a simple hobby meant to see how well could you play a game as fast or beat the game within a time frame. Hell, it was something everyone or friends could for fun. You could speedrun, make new friends, learn how a game works.

image

Back then in 2013. Speedrunning was a special thing. Something I felt was going to get better… Past me was wrong. While drama was normally not in the speedrun circle I was in, I didn’t really start to see how shit things were, because, I was new to speedrunning, and I just went along with what others did. Pretty much, not having a opinion, following orders.

Not all speedrun communities are like this.

But, it was whatever, the community was “friendly”, if you followed along and I noticed that I became a white knight but it was making my ride in the community somewhat ok. I shallowed my pride and went with it. By doing this, I was both fortunately and unfortunately to meet new people within the Sonic speedrunning community and, on Twitch..


It was not till 2015 – 2016 where I saw a new wave of Sonic “Speedrunners” who are super competitive in speedrunning. This is where I started to see these new toxic runners and this made me slowly resent speedrunning and this feeling of resentment would slowly grow over the next 2 years.. This is, of course, the point where I started to have my own opinions of Sonic runners and their actions.

And, at the same time, this was when I sent after by that person’s white knight lackeys because you know… “Opinions are bad” but anywho, I think around mid 2016, I started to not care about speedrunning but then, I saw “friends” speedrunning and, somehow that sparked a weak flame to speedrun run again. But really didn’t enjoy it as much as I used to.

image

It’s really sad, I had many plans to speedrun with friends and others. I would love to had the chance to speedrun with friends and others. I mean, I could do that but there really is no longer a point to do these speedruns together. I get speedrunners want to get a good time or get a better time. That’s fine

But when, it’s for fun, the mood just dies. Maybe I am too optimistic, I may as well try to catch lighting in a bottle, it’s not gonna happen, unless hell freezes over then, I can keep dreaming, I suppose… Of a day, where we could just race a game for fun. (Sonic 4 all emeralds, while that was not the race I had in mind. It is close to my idea, at the very least. There may be some hope)


White knights and opinions in speedrunning

We all know what white knights are? Right? Ok to make this quick and simple. A white knight is a user that will rush to someone being attacked, this means that said white knight will rush to the aid of someone being attacked, chances are, they did something to earn this but the white knight will defend all their actions to win their favor. That was anything but quick and simple…

image

Well, you get a idea. I will be mentioning the Sonic Speedrunning Community, as it does house a number of white knights.

So, as I have said before “the Sonic speedrunning community was “friendly”, if you followed along” this is true from what I seen. Two streamers I watch, I noticed a habit and the effect it has.

Test Subject 1. – He seems to follow along with his fellow Sonic speedrunners and does whiteknight them from harm. Funny thing is… I think he knows that some of the shit they do is fucked up. And if, that is the case, it makes this issue much worse than I thought.

When 1 follows along like a puppet or a pawn with no opinions of other runners, the effect is that, more Sonic speedrunners come to him and, it’s awful cause this just gives the Idea. “if you are my friend, then you can do as you please. if, it does not effect me, go ahead.”  Normally, I don’t care but I feel this just gives the impression that shit is ok.

And I noticed that the other streamer is not a white knight. Having a opinion of other runners or the community, and not following along seems to be disliked among the Sonic Speedrun community, I know I am talking about the Sonic Speedrun community, but this is a be all, end all rant.

Speedrunning has lost it’s value to me. But, this is just a me thing. I have to say this because, I know people will read this and go “Speedrunning has not lost all value. You are wrong for saying this” Sometimes, people don’t like to read, so I will be sure to make my comment in Bold :V

*RANT INCOMING*

// I want to get this off of my chest \

Before someone says “Don’t open old cuts” I want you to stop right there. This has been on my chest and GOD DAMN, I’m getting this off of my chest

image

I would like to mention one thing. So, when I had drama with a streamer who threw me under the bus. I went to said friend and made some jokes. But of course, when I made a “Fox season” joke. (Duck Season, Rabbit Season) Somehow, this joke was “inciting” a witch hunt…I swallowed my pride. But I feel that is total Bullshit. This was a simple joke. And the fact that you saw it as “inciting” A witch hunt, is BS.

“Fox Season” Mind you, this is a fucking thing. If you need, no, have to REACH to make a joke. Or what I said, sound like a attack on your friend, that’s pretty sad

image
image

I don’t even think it was the joke. Rather, you zero on me, because I made a post of your friend, and you assume I would Incite a Witch Hunt after your friend.

Look, there is protecting a friend, and then, there is being a white knight for someone. This is borderline white Knighting to me, so, it’s fine for them to fuck me over or throw me under the bus, send their lackeys after me, but because they are your friend, and you are in their circle, that makes it fine to do so?  2017. I took a lot of bullshit to the face. Dealt with a lot of Bull Shit and drama and getting fucked over.

There is a lot of shit I will take. Being called a asshole, I can speak my mind and my opinions may be hurtful, But don’t you GODDAMN tell me that I’m trying to incite a witch hunt, let alone assume anything negative about me. I draw the fucking line there when you start assuming negative about me.

That’s a fucking insult to me, and that is made worse to hear someone that you know for a few years, assume the worst of you, cause of a damn “joke” that had no ill will. But, whatever. I thank you. Because of mid to late 2017, I now know where I stand in this community or rather, I know where I stand with you and your “friends” So, this does help.

image

Look, let’s get your GODDAMN facts right. I don’t do “Witch Hunts” And do not Incite Witch Hunts. I tell my experience, so that someone else doesn’t have to suffer the same fate as me. Don’t you fucking confuse the two. Talking about a experience (Good or bad) vs. inciting a witch hunt. Are two fucking complete things.

So, before you white knight your friends from the “Big Bad Guy” again. Get your fucking facts straight before you assume shit about me.

No, i’m not ending any friendships over this shit. Because while this did hurt more than it should, Someone I looked up to, supported. It really does hurt to have them assume some about you after they known you for a while. It won’t end anything, but I will be keeping a distance from this person, but it makes sense, he knows them longer, by default, he will believe them and any facts or proof about them doing shady things. He turns a blind eye to it.

It’s funny. I wanted to believe that something was not true, but such a stupid Idea of mine. Something like that. Ha, it’s a silly for me to believe. It’s life, nothing will work out as you have planned. it’s whatever. You live and learn. Friends end up being a disappointment to you, one way or another.

I won’t mention who I am talking about. But I will say this, You have never made me mad. I never had a reason to be so mad at you.. I held you at such a high regard, knowing you wouldn’t disappoint me in the future… And I guess really, I’m not mad at him, just a bit disappointed, is all. That’s it, really. just disappointed, to be honest.

I said what I wanted to say that I didn’t say before. This is a rant.

*Rant done*


Speedrunning, friends, and livestreaming

I am a “speedrunner” I’m not good at it. And I don’t plan on it. and I know this will or may piss off some friends.

a. Livestreaming

Livestreaming is fun and having people to chat with is more fun. Streaming on twitch.tv and being “In” the speedrunning community before I disliked it. I made a lot of “friends” most of them are speedrunners, Nothing wrong with that. we are a small group of streamers / speedrunners. I notice habits that they have shown. Some I noticed tend to show support to speedrunners. I won’t say who.

Again, that’s fine. You like what you like. I won’t stop you. I am grateful that I have speedrunners as friends. And they do support me when I livestream speedruns… I know I can’t rely on speedrun friends because they want to do their own thing. They don’t want to watch a playthrough on Twitch.tv, they want to see speedruns

image

I guess, in a way. I really don’t ask friends for help. In a way. I envy these people who get support from their friends but at the same time… I don’t envy them at all. I’m weird.

I guess, in a way. I have a back up plan when I do quit speedruns. Look, I know people say that you can’t quit speedrunning, it doesn’t happen, It’s true to some point. But people say a lot of shit. Doesn’t make it true. People speedrun, because they want to.

Getting off topic… I will save this for later when I quit streaming in the future, but that won’t happen for a while. :P Or become a lone wolf in the future I guess. c:


Things I am not fond of in the Sonic Speedrun Community

I should say this, right now

Sonic Runners and/ or sonic members trying to silent opinions of others

People going behind others back to send their lackeys friends after them

Really do dislike people having this hive mindset

Really don’t like having to go along with the Sonic community to have them be friendly towards me.

I hate this mindset “If you are not friends with my friends, then we can’t be friends anymore”

Sonic runners who turning a blind eye or let some of this shit slide because that person is their friend :v

Sonic runners who are your friends but don’t have your back

image

But having friends who are speedrunners is good and bad.

You have a new point of view or a new outlook on things by knowing them. You can understand new things, rather that’s good or bad, is up to you.

By having friends as speedrunners, I saw a new outlook on life and things. I had laughs, good times

But on the other side of coin. I seen drama from friends that made me keep my distance

I seen how they can be, made me question, if I made a right choice or not.

But for this, the good outweigh the bad, just by a bit. :P


The end of a saga…

So, I guess, this is where I tell you how I really feel about speedrunning. I still resent speedrunning, is what, I would have said. As I wrote this I started to have different thoughts… It dawned on me. I didn’t resent speedrunning but rather, I have resentment towards the Sonic Speedrun Community.

It used to be my home, If I had no opinion and followed along, it would be a friendly place for me to stay but I choose to not follow along, I choose to have opinions of others, I choose to not be some sheep.  But this was the main reason why “Sonikmage” or “Soniksama” is gone, This is the reason why all my ties have been cut with the Sonic Speedrun Community members.

image

I guess in someway, this was bound to happen. While, I am disappointed on how things turned out. I did learn a few things. I guess, to end on this note. I did have “good times” when I was apart of this community. Made some questionable fake acquaintances, made some good friends, lost some “friends” when I changed from “Sonik” to “OnyChaos”. I feel losing those friends, I’m better off without them.


My final note on speedrunning

Speedrunning of late has changed, for the worst, It used to be about going to see how fast you can go in a game and improving one’s time while having fun with friends, and even with strangers.

The environment was friendly and welcoming, you can or could have fun speedrunning, but now, the speedrun environment has become a toxic and unwelcoming environment, in my eyes. all the In-fighting or all this backstabbing in the community or ton of drama that spreads about useless shit, people getting offended over things and shit, friendships coming and going before they can fucking start.

image

Oh, I hear you now. “Well, you don’t need to be in a community” I don’t, but then, what would the point be than? Being a part of a community is suppose to feel like a home away from home. A place where you could escape life for a bit and talk with your friends and escape bullshit and drama. A area where you could relax from life, even if it is a short haven.

No one seems to try to have fun in the Sonic speedrun community, I can’t blame them, it’s a toxic environment that rewards those who are super competitive and only want to be number one. I used to be like them but i saw what was speedrunning doing to me. Speedrunning can be fun, if you speedrun with friends.

I will not deny that, the Sonic Community, and speedrunning Community has done a lot. They have done some good. I want to get this out the way cause I know someone will read this and get offended. :v

I guess the real take away from this is… Speedrunning is fun to do. It can be a blast. Just don’t put all your time into one community or it will blow up in your face. And don’t be shocked if some acquaintances cut ties with you in the future. I still like speedrunning. But the way I view speedrunning, is in a negative light.. Is that fair? No.

End of the Saga to Sonic speedrunning community ranting…

It’s now over… A community I was in, supported through thick and thin by whatever means, and cheered on, when it was the underdog. The Sonic Community, a place I did see as my home away from home, when I was “Apart” of it. Now, the Sonic speedrun community, a community, I now resent. How things have changed. Something I used to love and cared for, now I resent it with a passion…

Hey… If you somehow made it to the end of this long ass rant and did not get offended / mad or disappointed at this rant. Well done. You get a Sonic 4 Any% race. it’s May. Everything I have bottled up from 2016 – 2017 and up to now, was dumped into this massive rant.

As I write this. I feel like giving the Sonic Community one last chance. But I doubt my impressions towards them will be changed. hey, anything can happen, I suppose… Not gonna unblock them though :x

image

I am still grateful for the friends i have made and still have now. And while I don’t always agree with them on some matters or choices, I do respect them and still grateful of them sticking with me, during my rants.

if this rant somehow is the one to break the camel’s back to end the friendship with me, I guess it will show me where I stand with them, I suppose, it was meant to end. :v

Ony~

P.S You know who you are. I would not do it, if I were you. >_>

Advertisements

Leave a reply.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s